TSA, Rectal, Vaginal Cavity Searches Now Standard Procedure.

Future date Nov, 10 2011

After the FAA discovered a known terrorist, Abdul Gotabombinmybutt, was responsible for bringing down United flight 808 the TSA will now conducts cavity searches on all air travelers on all domestic flights within the United States.

“Yes, we have known that this was a possibility and that our scanners and aggressive pat down procedures could in no way thwart such an attack” said TSA official Phillip Urspouse.

TSA Cavity Search

The BATF working closely with FAA investigators were able to reconstruct exactly how Abdul Gotabombinmybutt, who was travelling under the assumed name John Doe, was able to bring down flight UA808.

“We think he simply formed a pound of Composition 4 plastic explosive into a phallic shape, inserted a detonator with a micro timer attached to a miniature watch battery. He subsequently slid the device into a condom and used the popular lubricant Astro Glide™ to facilitate insertion into his rectum” said FAA investigator Don T. Havaclue.

One TSA official stated off the record, “Everyone with a shred of common sense knew that the scanners and pat downs of 6 year olds, Nuns and wheelchair bound senior citizens were just a waste of time and precious resources, and is certainly a violation of the People’s 4th amendment rights. This being said, it seems that the fortunes made by Rapiscan, the Chertoff Group and heavily lobbied Congressmen took precedence over that ‘damn piece of paper”; that is the Constitution of the United States of America. It was also a substantial part of the “make work” program for the TSA; now unionized under the SEIU.”

All U.S. airlines are now insolvent and are awaiting the final say on how the U.S. government will seize their assets and redistribute them between various Labor Unions.
However, the White House did release the name of the newly consolidated airline, “Ameriflot”

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Media Malpractice? You Decide

Saw this on:

On Election day twelve Obama voters were interviewed extensively right after they voted to learn how the news media impacted their knowledge of what occurred during the campaign. These voters were chosen for their apparent intelligence/verbal abilities and willingness to express their opinions to a large audience. The rather shocking video below seeks to provide some insight into which information broke through the news media clutter and which did not.

The problem with people is that we are oblivious to our own ignorance.

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Obama bin Biden

You have to remember that smart people don’t make slips like this.
I wonder if he has had his daughters circumsized yet?
Is Michelle his only wife? You decide.

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Most awesome video on Earth

This video made my day. Please share this with as many people as you can.

The force is strong with this one.

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Wes Clark is a human turd!

If you ever wondered what a piece of sh/t of a half o’ man puke Wes Clark is, listen to this video.

At 3:50 he starts laying out a scenario about the agony, he as a commander has had to go thru in making critical decisions.

At 4:00 in to it, he really lets us in to his soul with the key words “what about your reputation, How do you handle it publicly?”

That shows you that he is a real “cover your ass kind of guy”. Wessy boy is. A real leader never has a concern about his reputation, you do what is right because it is just that right, reputation be damned!

He is truly an ass bag, kiss ass, bottom feeder.

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Christopher Hitchens on Freedom of Speech

Part I

Part II

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Comic Relief: Remember St. Ted Haggard?

With all of the political hooplah going on, we all could use a good laugh. This is a parody of Richard Dawkin’s interview with Ted Haggard. As you may remember, Super-Evangalist Haggard was accused of buying Meth and frequenting a male prostitute. Haggard was ousted from his Pastorship in the Church that he had created some years ago. Enjoy!

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I am not interested

You have to watch this.

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Ted Nugent for President!

This is my kind of guy.

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So you’re worried about toxins?

This video may allay your fears caused by the uninformed media.

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